If you saw my brother, Alby seated at a restaurant or walking in the
park, your first thought might be, "Wow, nice looking guy. Beautiful
hair." But Alby is dying. He is addicted to heroin.
I guess most every family deals with stuff like this. Maybe not heroin,
but alcohol, mental illness, whatever. (Our family just happens to deal
with all three.)
And so, after returning from recent travels, I hit the the ground running AND hit the wall at the same time. For starters, our Galley Gourmet
dinner cruise season started up, the garden needed attention, there
were bills to pay and yadda yadda. Yet one thing kept nagging my brain:
Alby will be celebrating his 52nd birthday on June 5. But at the rate
he's going, I don't think he's going to make it to 53.
What should I get him for his birthday? I'd be lying if I just sent him
a regular card. Hallmark doesn't cover life issues like this.
So, I wrote Alby a letter and mailed it, wrapped inside a T-shirt. Here's what I wrote:
Dear Alby,
As my oldest brother, I've always admired your drive to not let
anything get in your way--from skiing the toughest hills, to going
after a swimming record. I may not have told you this before, but you
have always been an inspiration to me. The poetry and prose you wrote
were free-flowing and full of feeling. And when I read the words, I
felt as if I had wings.
Alby, I was always proud to introduce you to my friends as my big
brother and friend, the one that dared to do things differently. And I
love you very much.
However, over the past year or so, when I've tried to get together with
you and it hasn't worked out, I've been relieved because I'm afraid of
what you've become. I'm afraid to be around you. Sure, I live in
Alaska, but I am not blind and separate from what is happening to you;
what people around you are saying. I'm afraid to be around you because
the drugs you are taking change you. You become aggressive, loud, cocky
and very agitated. I don't know who or where the real Alby is anymore.
Alby, you are dying.
You are DYING!
Think about it: Travis Britt [our nephew who is fighting an extremely rate form
of bone cancer] is dying to live, while you are living to die.
With your birthday coming up, I realized I could not ignore what is
happening to you and simply send you a goody-goody happy birthday card.
That's why I am writing this letter. I've always considered myself not
just a sister, but a friend to you. But I've known for many years that
drugs are a problem in your life. And friends don't look the other way.
So right now I am asking you to accept treatment for your drug problem.
I love you Alby, and I am concerned that you will not live to see your
next birthday. I am willing to stand by you as you go through treatment.
If you don't agree to go into treatment, I will not speak with you, see
you, answer your emails, call you, send you Christmas gifts or have
anything to do with you.
I love you,
Marion
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Is there a Hallmark card for this?
Comments
Re: Is there a Hallmark card for this?
by
MJ
on Mon 09 Oct 2006 06:09 PM AKDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Wishing you much courage!
RRe: Is there a Hallmark card for this?
MARION, my heart goes out to you. After working in Recovery hospitals and programs for many years, I realize the frustration and heartbreak you must be feeling. It took a lot of courage for you to write what you did. I'm hoping your brother has other loving connections as well as treatment resources available to him. I am wondering if he lives close to you? Sometimes it takes an Intervention of loved ones who will gather together with him to present him with the tough love options and facts of his life, including those wonderful qualities he probably has long forgotten about himself, to get him to see that his life is valuable and worth the hard fight back into life. I'm sure you and your family have explored all available treatment programs available to him, wherever he is, and that the AA and NA people have been called in to help. THEY WILL HELP.AND LIKE YOUR LETTER, THEY ARE TOUGH BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN THERE AND THEY KNOW WHAT HE NEEDS. They will also give him unconditional love which many people never get anywhere else. If you think about it, even families offer conditional love most of the time. There is much that the family/loved ones can do, and plenty of people who are willing to help and need only to be asked. It will help him to know that he won't have to do this alone. He will be surrounded with love and affection. If there is anything I can offer you from my own experience in guiding and caring for folks in Recovery, you have only to ask. I will keep you both in my prayers with love. jacquie
Re: Is there a Hallmark card for this?
As the previous comment said, there are tons of websites that can come in the aid of a drug addict. And maybe you checked most of them. But maybe this one will help out:
http://www.narcononstonehawk.com/drug-rehab.php Re: Is there a Hallmark card for this?
by
partystar
on Wed 15 Aug 2007 04:14 AM AKDT | Profile | Permanent Link
A few years ago I had a problem with my cholesterol and my doctor prescribed me generic lipitor.After I was cured I couldn't stop taken them but I had some support from my family and I managed to pass over this. With a huge will you can do anything.
Re: Re: Is there a Hallmark card for this?
by
Jimmyy
on Mon 05 Nov 2007 12:25 PM AKST | Profile | Permanent Link
That is true. Some people feel the urge to continue a <a href="http://www.drugrehab.net/">drug Treatment</a>
that is no longer needed, but with a strong will, yes, everything is possible. And, yes, a strong support is also needed ad is worthless. Re: Is there a Hallmark card for this?
by
Cristian
on Fri 01 Feb 2008 06:51 AM AKST | Profile | Permanent Link
I think I can help if your brother wants real help:a center drug rehab treatment. Check it and if he agrees this could be his ticket out of this madness: http://www.drugrehab.net/start.php
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 How to Stay in Touch: Subscribe to my UpBeet Gardener ezine (above) and to this blog to automatically receive updates. To subscribe this blog, you have 2 choices: 1) Click on this icon  if you use a feed reader, or2) For email updates, Another Way To Stay In Touch: Listen to my podcasts! My UpBeet Gardener radio shows are available as podcasts. They're fun, entertaining and only 2 or 3 minutes long.  Click on the UpBeet Gardener Podcasts on the list at left to read the article and listen to the audio, or if you have iTunes: Go to the iTunes podcast directory and do a search for Acorns. You can also download a free program for Windows and Mac. Just click on this icon:>  For FAQs about iPodder and podcasting: Click here  I'm Marion Owen and I live on Kodiak Island, Alaska where I pull weeds, write, photograph, and produce my UpBeet Gardener radio shows and international newsletter. My husband and I operate Galley Gourmet dinner cruises. I conduct workshops and keynote addresses and produce PlanTea organic fertilizer. My main site is at plantea.com Stuff You Might Like...
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